Some help from my readers

I have been trying to write a parody of “I’m Still Here” using events from Jewish history, but have been unable to get anything going.

Here’s what I need you from my readers: Summaries of events in Jewish history in short phrases, like, “Crossing the Red Sea,” “the Inquisition,” etc. If you can just list them in the comments, I can pull them together into the song parody that I’ve been wanting to do for ages.

And yes, this has everything to do with having seen “Follies” last night and heard the song again.

Events from ancient to modern times, up to and including “Rockets in Haifa.”

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8 Responses to Some help from my readers

  1. Rahel says:

    Escape from Haran; famine in Canaan; slavery in Egypt; crossing the Red Sea; wandering in the desert; attacked by Amalek; attacked by Ammon and Moab; exile in Babylon; oppression by Rome; destruction of the Temple; exile by Rome; the massacre at Blois; the massacre at Worms; the massacre at York; the Almohades; the Spanish Inquisition; the Chmelnitzky uprising; oppression by the Czars; the Pales of Settlement; the Cantonists; Soviet repression; Ottoman oppression; the Hebron massacre; the British White Paper; Nazi mass murder; attacks by Arab countries; hijacking of airplanes; separation of Jewish passengers; media mendacity; rockets on Kiryat Shemona; rockets on Sderot; rockets on Haifa, rockets on Safed, rockets on Karmiel, rockets on Ashkelon …

    Whew. We survived all that and more!

  2. Um… we can also have GOOD events from Jewish history. I don’t want to make the song too depressing.

  3. Rahel says:

    Oh, OK. Giving of the Torah; building of the Tabernacle; entry into the Land; Deborah’s victory song; building of the Temple; Sheba visits Solomon; return from Babylon; the Jewish legal code; Judah Halevy’s poetry; Gracia Mendes becomes the richest woman in Europe; start of Hassidic movement; resurrection of Hebrew language; Hovevei Zion movement; Theodor Herzl, return to Zion, unification of Jerusalem; Entebbe; the camera pill, instant messaging invented by a couple of Israeli kids.

    How’s that for starters?

  4. Eric J says:

    Sammy Davis Jr. converting.

  5. A Steve says:

    Sorry, I don’t know the song, but here’s some stuff for “We didn’t start the fire” that might inspire you a little. (I think the different things my wife and I came up with say a lot about how we think.)

    From Me:
    Nehemiah, Babylon
    Second Temple, first one’s gone
    Maccabees beat Antioch and kept the lights on
    Hellenistic culture came
    And philosophers got game
    Philo Sirach Qoheleth and Proverbs all rocked

    From Meredith:
    Borsht belt, gefilte fishes, all sweet Jewish dishes.
    Challah bread, macaroons, a matzoh ball on every spoon

    Mel Brooks, television, Elie Wiesel’s great nonfiction.
    Adam Sandler, Streisand, Fran Drescher in Nanny-land

    We’re not all conspiring!
    We’re just really clever and manage dough much better!
    We’re not all conspiring!
    Though we didn’t fight it we don’t wanna “bite it”.

  6. Rahel says:

    Oh, yeah, and all those Nobel Prizes, too!

  7. Barbara says:

    Please include Golda Meir – Meryl or other clever minds can figure out some rhymes!

  8. Anne says:

    …really good food. Yum! :)

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