I just ingested five billion (give or take a few million) freeze-dried cells. Sarah suggested I try Florastor to counteract the bad results of the antibiotics in my system. She gave it to her seven-year-old, who proclaimed it, “nasty.” So I went to the drugstore and asked for a probiotic, and received a blank stare from the young woman behind the counter. Who then talked to the pharmacist, who said, “Here,” and handed her a package. The package he gave me is for kids. I said, “Don’t you have anything for grownups? Like a pill or something?”
“Nope.” (It does come in caplet form. I was just unlucky.)
So tonight, after the evening regimen of horse pills, I mixed a package with a glass of orange juice. Y’know, Nate wasn’t exaggerating. I couldn’t really taste the stuff, since I filled the glass (8 oz.). But it has a really nasty smell, and the smell didn’t go away when mixed.
The package says it contains 5 billion live freeze-dried cells of Saccharomyces boulardii. But a quick trip to their website discovers several lies on the main page.
Lie Number One: “Great tasting fruit flavor.” See “nasty smell,” above.
Lie Number Two: “Dissolves completely in juice or water.” Tell that to the cells on the side of my glass (currently soaking).
Well, okay. If it works, they can lie about those two things. Tomorrow morning, though, I’m mixing it with chocolate milk. Maybe the chocolate will overpower the nasty scent.
In any event, my great experiment with the various bacteriology of my digestive system continues. And in another eleven days, with any luck, H. pylori will be dead, dead, dead. And I won’t get my too-frequent stomach ailments.
You know, if you really think about it, right now, there’s one hell of a war going on in my stomach. Good bacteria. Bad bacteria. Acidopholus. Saccharomyces boulardi. (Oh. My. Gd. I just discovered a website called “Doctor Fungus.” And discovered that I’ve been waxing poetic about — Brewer’s yeast.
Well. In any case, the war continues. And I can hear them fighting as I write this. Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. Take that, bad bacteria! Die! Die!