Unfortunately, the Tony Awards are as close as I get to Broadway these days. Sigh. I want to see plays again. All of them. Even the dogs.

The revivals of Sweeney Todd and Threepenny Opera look phenomenal.

Harry Connick, Jr. would never again be allowed to sing. Not. Ever.

God, I can’t stand that man.

And come to think of it, James Earl Jones won’t be allowed to make any more commercials. I’m tired of that man.

On the other hand, Hugh Jackman can do anything he wants.

Haveil Havalim, the Carnival of the Jews, is up.

The Carnival of the Cats will be up later at Gigolo Kitty. Here it is.

In the meantime, you can watch “The Five Second Rule.” I dare you not to laugh.

Or you can watch this one, where a kayaker gets too close to an orca. Oops. Shamu isn’t nearly as much fun close-up. (Don’t worry, no graphic violence or blood in the water. Just a lesson learned.)

Please be informed that I am not in the mood to write topical posts today. The news is depressing.

Memo to the Chief Archivist: Oren, this situation is intolerable. The Hasbara department cannot carry out its duties when one tentacle does not know what the other is doing. Look what our counterparts of IRIB have discovered, and we were not wise to:

Zionist Rabbis Torture Inmates at Guantanamo

A freed hostage of the notorious US torture centre on the Cuban enclave of Guantanamo, has revealed that most of the generals and interrogators of this horrendous prison are Zionists including several Jewish Rabbis.

According to the Baztab Internet site, Ibrahim Shan, a Turkish national, who had been detained at Guantanamo for two years, in his interview with the Turkish daily, Vakit, revealed that the Americans are using: “Jewish women to sadistically torture young Muslim detainees and in most cases leading to insanity of the hapless detainees who are subjected to sophisticated cruelties.”

The released Turkish citizen stated: “A Jewish commander named Yasef while torturing me at Guantanamo used to say: “After Iraq, Iran, and Syria, it will be Turkey’s turn and your women and men will become our slaves.”

Ibrahim Shan further noted that 90% of Guantanamo’s generals and officials had Jewish names and he saw at least 15 Rabbis interrogating Muslims.

Of course, now that the truth is out, we have no choice but to come out with full confession. Here is the picture of the rabbis in question in the full battle uniform:

Please notice: a) the mostly black coloring of the uniforms, concealing the blood stains and b) the ability of Elders’ make-up team to create a perfect image of an African-American (General?).

Regarding the use of Jewish women: I have asked a permission from SWMBO: she told me that if I reveal too much here, Gitmo will look like a paradise to me for the next few years. So, we are publishing here only a partial picture of the tool of torture:

Sorry about it, but you can try and deduce the rest…

And re the generals in charge of Guantanamo: true, all Jewish. Here a sample of some of them.

And what a wild beast each of them is - for crying out loud, after all this was the chief reason we sent them over to Gitmo. The most experienced torturers of the Q department start sweating hearing their names!

Oh, and re Turkey - don’t worry, it is under Elders’ control from times immemorial.

Hat tip to Terry Glavin

Cross-posted on SimplyJews