Palestinian expansion draft

Apparently, ten thousand armed groups of bloodthirsty maniacs wasn’t enough for the Palestinians, so Fateh is spinning off yet another group to counter the latest spin-off group from Hamas…

Gunmen from Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas’s Fatah movement on Wednesday announced the formation of a 2,000-strong militia designed to counter new police forces loyal to the Islamist Hamas government.

“The (Fatah) force will be assigned to protect Fatah’s sons and Fatah’s institutions against attacks, whether from Israel or from parties inside the [PA] home,” said Al-Mua’tasem Billah, a spokesman for the new Fatah militia.

The creation of such forces has intensified fears among many Palestinians of violence between feuding factions that could further destabilize an already chaotic security set-up.

Sure, these groups add new members from the high schools and colleges that they’ve used to finish the brainwashing and terrorist training they’ve drilled into them since birth, and loyalties are established young.

However, after watching the Houston Texans totally blow their first pick in the NFL Draft on Mario Williams after passing over Reggie Bush and keeping David Carr instead of going for local hero Vince Young, I wonder how things would be if there were a PLO Draft where the terror groups had to recruit members in order.

“Well, Hassan Al-Nasser had a strong showing at the Workout Camp, but the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades is heavy with suicide bombers and seriously needs suicide bomb-belt makers.”

“Islamic Jihad sure is hitting the snipers hard in this round. You’d think they’d be recruiting from Al-Aqsa University, but it looks like Nablus is producing a fine crop of fanatics this year despite cutbacks in ammunition due to Title IX.”

“Yeah, Mohammed Al-Mohammed Ramzi should have declared last year instead of going another year in school. That accident at the pep rally cost him an arm, an eye, and a pretty large signing bonus this year.”

“Wait… it looks Like PFLP is going for Susan Tighe of Evergreen University. Everyone thought they’d go for a first round tunnel-digger like Hamas did, but apparently they’re going the human shield route. Evergreen sure has a history in that field, don’t they?”

“Well, just wait until Juan Cole joins up with the Yale program… they’ll be churning out spokesmen and appeasers by the dozens.”

About Laurence Simon

I'm a thirty-something dataschmuck in Houston, TX. I spend my free time grilling, baking, playing with cats, and trying to invent the Tequila Sunset.
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2 Responses to Palestinian expansion draft

  1. Are they trying out for a private militia or Chippendales?

  2. Andy says:

    Thank you, Meryl. Much more exciting commentary than that I’ve seen on this year’s draft. Although at least the Pats did pretty well….

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