My own website is down. The server it’s on is down. The enemy’s gate is…

Nah.

The datacenter it’s in is “experiencing problems” and will be back up and available shortly.

That’s what I’m telling people who are writing in and wondering where their sites, servers, and stuff went off to. Sounds much better than “They went to the zoo” or “The end of the Internet is Nigh! Repent! Repent!”

*sniff* *sniff*

A/C sounds have shifted. Interesting smells in the air. The phones still work, but the toilets are having a hard time flushing.

More people write in, asking when the situation will be resolved.

Sorry, but I left my Crystal Ball at home. And there’s no birds to sacrifice so I may augur their greasy, juicy guts.

I consult my Trick Knee. It goes “Woof!” and plays dead.

Beer o’Clock rapidly approaches.