Barbie has a new boyfriend

I did not learn this until last week. She dumped Ken, after all these years. Okay, so she dumped him a year or so ago. But I just found out.

His name is Blaine. He’s an Ozzie. If you ask me, she dumped one closeted boyfriend for another, because boy, this guy does not look very masculine.

So, of course, the ultimate Oz joke must be made: If Blaine gets really ticked with Barbie and throws her onto the backyard barbecue, it would be Barbie on the barbie.

Yes, I was looking to lighten the mood. I wasn’t thinking immolation when I first thought of this post. But now I’m more than a little scared of myself.

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8 Responses to Barbie has a new boyfriend

  1. Eric J says:

    “‘allo, Bruce!”

  2. The Doctor says:

    After what Barbie did to Ken [you don’t actually think he started off anatomically incorect, did you?] I think Blaine’s legal strategy would be self-defence.

  3. Aussie Dave says:

    I heard she’s back with Ken now.
    I guess Barbie can’t handle a real man :)

  4. Sabba Hillel says:

    Actually, Ken was her brother pretending to be her boy friend.

    In real life the people who created Barbie and Ken named the dolls after their children, Barbera and Kenneth.

  5. The Doctor says:

    So, it’s a Lost kinda thing with Barbie and Ken? Ewwwww…..

  6. Drew W says:

    “She said Ken never made her heart beat so/But he lacked that certain somethin’ as we all know/Now I burst her little bubble, her mind’s about to go/I gotta get her to the doll hospital”
    –John Hiatt, “Doll Hospital”

    Okay, I don’t know why, but I just had to post this.

    At least I restrained myself from reprinting lyrics from another one of his songs, “The Wreck Of The Barbie Ferrari,” which is about a guy who goes nuts and shoots up his kid’s toybox.
    John Hiatt — poet laureate for fathers everywhere.

  7. paul a'barge says:

    Aussie. Not “Ozzie”. Aussie.

  8. Anonymous says:

    ‘aussie’

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